I got a lot of comments from the last ezine on “keeping your mouth shut and not sharing your dreams.”
Based on the emails that I’ve received, I’d like to clarify a few things.
I’m still 100% convinced that in general, it’s better to keep your mouth shut about your dreams than seek advice from every corner. In fact, the more you get other people’s opinions, the more you’ll start to doubt your goal.
There are a few caveats:
You can share your goals with people who have the same passion, interest or knowledge and who can help you accomplish them.
Behavior vs. Results
One of the most important insights that I got recently in self-help, and not from the usual results, is the concept of behavior vs. goals or results.
The tendency is to set lofty goal and find the motivation to reach them.
– Running a marathon or “getting in shape.”
– Learning a new skill (like playing the piano)
Those are goals or results. Focusing on them, writing them down, talking about them or putting them on your “dreamboard” will not really help you accomplishing them, no matter what the self-help gurus say.
The following actions are behaviors or measurable steps:
– Running one hour, four times a week
– Practicing the piano two hours a day
Focusing on behaviors bring you power because they inevitably lead to results.
Focusing too much on the goals themselves (the end results) takes away your power. It’s ephemeral and in the realm of intention rather than action.
You can set a goal but forget about it. What matters then is the measurable actions or behaviors you take to get you there.
For example, I’m interested in learning languages. I know that just hoping to speak a certain language at a certain level by a certain date is just an intention. But what matters is the focus on what I’m doing daily: at least one hour of reading (for example), I’ll make progress.
In the same sense, if your goal is to write a book, you should set yourself the goal of writing a certain number of words per day.
Say that you’ve decided that you can write 1000 words a day.
Then, writing those 1000 words should be your priority. If you miss only ONE day you should equate this omission to not accomplishing the goal at all.
In other words, if you write 1000 words a day, the goal is ALREADY DONE that day. And if you miss a day, you’ve already failed.
That might seem like a lot of pressure, but the pressure is not on the result (writing the book) but rather on something manageable and doable: writing 1000 words.
I hope that makes sense and that you found this tip as useful as I did!